The Quote That Freed Me

"The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there."

-L.P.Hartley, British novelist

When I came across this quote, it changed my life.

When I talk to people about where and who I have been on my life's journey,  I often use language like, 

 "my former self" or, "my past life" 

and I have felt guilty about this.

I think this is because deep down I don't  believe that the core of me (my beliefs, values, etc) is "gone" but the semantics and tone I use seems to "write off" where and who I have been within that core.

 I approach life so differently than I ever did in my teens, twenties and thirties and  I feel like I am a very, very different person than I was before.

This is probably true, and it isn't necessarily a bad thing, or even a unique thing, but I have been struggling with how to navigate who my  "former self"  is and not negate it. 

So, when I read this quote which was a part of a short memoir by James Ireland Baker in my Real Simple magazine, my jaw dropped and I stared at the words with wonder and relief.  

That was it.

I found the language I was searching for. 

My past feels like a foreign country--it exists, it's real, but they do things differently there. 

There's different

languages

customs

values

ways of life...

To embrace that  my "former self" speaks a different language and approaches values and ways of doing things differently than my present self, is so freeing.

It's liberating to know that I don't have to live in the past, but I can visit it and negotiate a balance between what is now and what is then. 

And, like I would in visiting any foreign country, 

I need preparation and planning; I need to get paperwork in order;

I need to formulate a plan of how to navigate the foreign places that may throw me for a loop. 

I also know that when I visit a foreign country I  rarely leave the same as when I arrived.

This makes me nervous, and excited. 

And then I get to come home. 

I get to live here, in the now with who I am today. 

And this is a good place to be.