Monday, April 1, 2013

I Quit.

They say that there is often truth to jokes. The art of "joking around" allows us to say things we might be thinking but since we're only joking, it's not truth. 
{Yeah, right.}
Today, being April Fools' Day caused me to "joke" around about a very tempting idea...quitting my job.
Sadly, money is our main means to any end, so I sorta need to stay employed, but
believe you me if I had the chance, I would be very, very, very tempted to quit teaching and do..........
{well, do ANYTHING but teach....!}

I put this on my board today and it led me to what I like to call "An After School Special" 
talk with my kids.
When I told them that I was quitting, I heard gasps and words like "WHAT?" and
 "NO MISS! YOU CAN'T!!" thrown my direction. 
It was kind of awesome.
{See! They really would miss me! ha.}
 After soaking in their disappointment that I would be leaving them, 
I told them I was 
only joking. 

I then went on to explain that my joking around is also my plea to them that they can't quit either. That they cannot, they MUST not quit in these last days of being an 8th grader. I told them to treat the idea of quitting as an April Fools' Day joke. It can't happen.
 I told them that there are roads they are choosing to travel if they quit or not. The length and amount of road blocks on their given road depends on their attitude towards quitting.
 I begged and pleaded for them not to quit on me now. I told them that THIS is their time to shine and that THIS is the time to really give it their all.
{A teacher can dream! 8 weeks, baby!}

All this got me thinking about other places in my life that I want to "quit". 

I am so very, very tempted to quit thinking about the ramifications of my spiritual perspective/journey right now. I am not fully sure what to do with the shift happening in my soul, and it's causing me to want to quit and not deal with any of it. I want to numb myself from figuring out the reality of what my childhood faith looks like versus today's faith.  It's very overwhelming and frustrating. 
I don't feel like I see a point to any of it. 

I am tempted to quit working on and figuring out my weight issues. I have struggled all my life with weight and how I look.  I know the positive ways to get myself together physically, I've done them! But I feel so disappointed with the inconsistent results and the high level of attention my weight goals require that I want to quit. I, again, feel overwhelmed and frustrated with the abundance of "things I should be doing" and the guilt I feel when I don't do what I should be doing and know to do. 
It becomes too much and I want to quit. 

I am tempted to quit furthering my professional development and figure out "what I want to be when I grow up." Obviously teaching isn't hitting all the strides I thought it would, but am I being completely unrealistic in thinking that there is such a thing as  a "perfect dream job"? Probably. 
But it feels, yup, overwhelming and frustrating to figure out what causes me to have passion, excitement and joy that could lead me to find the stride I crave.

All of these things are my "issues" right now and I know I am in a space of being overwhelmed. But as I gave my "After School Special" spiel, I felt myself shift. I knew that really my only choice is to take my own advice: 
Don't quit. 
I need to gain perspective of what my "road" is and what it looks like for me. Is it a short road  with lots of road blocks; 
or is it one that will allow me to shine and grow? 

I am in the midst of finding the latter, and this is only because I know that I am not alone.
 I know I have a whole bunch of cheerleaders and support systems  in place that won't let me quit. I just need to listen to them and use them. I need to recognize miracles when I see them and use that as hope that I am going to be okay because the truth is that this life thing?
Yeah, it's no joke.


  1. So beautiful, friend. And yes, DON'T QUIT! I'll always be your cheerleader.

  2. I can imagine how much your students would miss you. But I totally understand how you feel. I often wonder if there is something like a "dream job" and what that would be for me. I hope you can figure everything out, Kari. You are so strong and wonderful! Hugs!