Baxdeer makes me happy. And I need happy.

I've been in a constant state of finding those little things that give me joy. 

I've been trying to find these things because if I don't, I am in a constant state of spiraling inward towards grief, fear and uncertainty.
Most of these things have been events in our nation and our world that 

have caused many of us to spiral: 

The one year marker of Sandy Hook.

The Arapahoe High School shooting.

Or this story that almost pushed me over the edge.

 It can feel like hope is an unreachable summit.

It can feel vulnerable and scary.

It can feel like we are constantly gasping for air.

 I absolutely know that there aren't any real answers to the millions of 

“why” questions that haunts us.

I am absolutely sure that there is no quick fix.

I am absolutely sure that this year I am more leery about how I approach the more traditional miracles of Christmas. I am continuing to redefine some of my core beliefs and I find myself being cautious of how I approach traditional values.

But with that said, I am also absolutely sure, that the Holiday Season is

 a perfect place to find miracles.

I mean, look at Baxdeer! He’s freaking adorable!

 I've also decided that in the spirit of the season, giving is one way out of the inward spiral. After hearing this story on NPR about a courageous family trying to cope with the grief of losing their daughter, Brian and I donated to the Avielle Foundation

to help with the research they are doing.

This year, I found hope in this act.

 I guess what I am trying to say is there might not be a rhyme or reason to your happy this season, but I truly hope you find your happy and that it

 brings you exactly what you need.