Brian and I can't quite remember what sparked our philosophy of using an Etch-A-Sketch to save our marriage, but whatever it was, we are living proof of its magical powers. We have made it a major part of our relationship and I often give a trusty Etch-A-Sketch, with the directions below, to newly married couples in hopes that this magic saves their marriages too.
Congratulations!
You are holding in your hands the secret to a successful, happy marriage!
How to properly use this very powerful item:
Step 1: Have an inevitable stupid* argument. *Stupid is the key to the Etch-a-Sketch working. Determining what a "stupid" fight means may take practice, but you will know it when you yell it.
Step 2: One person will recognize that you are fighting about something legitimately stupid.
Step 3: That person asks the question: "Etch-a-Sketch?"
Step 4: {Step 4 is where the lines may get blurred, but pushing through the blur will be worth it.} The person listening to the question, "Etch-a-Sketch?" is the one who will say "Yes!" or "No!"
Step 2: One person will recognize that you are fighting about something legitimately stupid.
Step 3: That person asks the question: "Etch-a-Sketch?"
Step 4: {Step 4 is where the lines may get blurred, but pushing through the blur will be worth it.} The person listening to the question, "Etch-a-Sketch?" is the one who will say "Yes!" or "No!"
If the answers to "Etch-a-Sketch?" is a "Yes!":
1. Retrieve the Etch-a-Sketch from its place of honor in your home.
2. Both people hold the Etch-a-Sketch and raise your hands above your heads.
3. Shake vigorously.
4. The magical power of the Etch-a-Sketch will allow you to start at ground zero; recognize that the fight was stupid and talk rationally* about what's going on. *Rational is ideal, and it might not happen right way, but again, like everything, it will happen with practice.
If the answer to "Etch-a-Sketch?" is a "No!":
The person saying "No!" is usually saying no because there is a deeper issue for them to talk through. At this point, the argument doesn't feel "stupid". What they need to say or what they are figuring out as far as feelings may take a bit more time. It is recommended that the person asking the question, "Etch-a-Sketch?" stop everything and ANY and EVERY listening skill EVER learned should kick in. Your partner needs to be heard; hear them.
The person who said "No!" is the person who asks if the Etch-a-Sketch should now be used. Both partners should agree and you can reference the "Yes!" directions above for further guidance.
Does it work?
Research* shows that couples who use the Etch-a-Sketch method on a regular basis reduces fight time by 85%. {This data is not to scale.} Further research revealed that the reduction of fighting, especially over "stupid" things, allows the elusive "live happily ever after" become a reality.
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