Merry Swiftmas!

The season of Miracles is upon us and boy, do I have a miraculous story for you!

A Swiftmas Miracle

Twas the night before The Era's Tour presale tickets and all through the house

not a Kari was resting not even her spouse.

Her ticket plan was organized, and her nerves were a flurry!

But she was a verified fan, so nothing to worry!

Her status was determined for Denver and Vegas--

Our dream of seeing Taylor could happen in two places!

Her dear Brian, a Swifty because duh,

was willing to buy the tickets because love!

The hour finally arrived the group chat was set--

We would have The Era's Tour tickets without sweat.

Little did we know The Devil is real. 

His name is Ticketmaster and his evil millions could feel.

The queue was stalled, and the tickets were lost. 

Not one time, but three! Words were cuss.

Eight hours this went on with not a ticket to secure,

Kari's heart was shattered, and she shed some tears.

Alas, one more try Brian did take

and what do you know, the line didn't break!

He swooped in for tickets, the highest in the stands.

We didn't care--we are true fans!

The prices were reasonable and we didn't get swindled,

so we took a shot at the Vegas queue because we felt quite nimble.

We quickly picked two seats that showed up by sheer luck

I can hardly believe it! We got them! What The --?!

There we sat, we could hardly believe our eyes...

We are seeing TWO Taylor Swift concerts--the ultimate prize!

All we wanted was to see Taylor Swift

And we know these miracles are truly a gift.

In March and July, we will surely be a sight,

but for now Merry Swiftmas Tay All And Tay All A Swift Night!

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Holiday poems don't lie. We are very, very grateful and excited to be on the winning end of The Ticketmaster Debacle of 2022. This not-so-little miracle reminds me that there is a lot to be grateful for this Holiday season. Brian and I both have jobs we love, we know we're exactly where we should be in life right now, and we are surrounded by miracles like YOU! 

Thank you for being in our story. Thank you for showing us joy this year. And as life dishes out the unpredictable, may we all find hope in surprising places--like being 50+ years old at a Taylor Swift concert (or two!!!) 

Happy Holidays from The Laniels!

 "Lift your heads up. Be grateful you are going through this sad moment with all these other folks."~ Ted Lasso

 {Thank you, Ted Lasso, for being perfect. And, if you haven't already, watch this flawless show on Apple+, right now!} 

Happy Holidays from The Laniels!

There's really nothing new to say about the 2020 dumpster fire that hasn't been said already, but I truly think that we are coming out the other side feeling so grateful for all the miracles in the mundane like never before.

In our holiday card last year I was truly contemplating leaving this crazy teaching profession. I found renewed hope in February and decided to commit. Then came March.

                                                  {I wrote about the end of the last school year here.}                                                            

As summer plodded along, there were so many questions and so many unknowns it was difficult to know how to feel about what the school year would entail.

When questions were answered tripled and my school district adopted a hybrid model for middle school, more questions and more feelings unfolded.  

How was I supposed to teach all day in a mask? How do I connect with my one section of fully remote students? How do I connect with students I only see in person 2 hours a week? How do I maintain rigor/engagement/differentiation for 130 kids that are overwhelmed and worried too? Fully remote? How do I do that? How do I keep forgetting to change the settings on my Google docs so anyone with the link can view them? How come attendance takes 10,987 steps and takes 1,235 minutes? 

Everyday, So. Many. Questions.

Everything takes twice the effort and twice the attention to detail and it's been exhausting--for all of us. This is where the Ted Lasso quote gives me so much hope: We are not alone in this. I get the irony of this word alone. We did not see friends in person or celebrate big birthdays {50!!!} or graduating {whoop Brian!} with parties and we felt alone in feeling anxious all the livelong day, but somehow we were not alone.

I was not alone in the weirdness of teaching. Brian was not alone in being unemployed and searching for jobs. {He has a few prospects right now and all of our fingers and toes are crossed that things will fall into place!!!!} My friends who have small children were not alone in trying to stay sane. My friends working from home with make-shift offices and sketchy wifi were not alone. We know all too well that our pets weren't alone. God forbid we ran an errand without them for more than an hour! My family was not alone in worrying for our aging parents and hoping they would wear a freaking mask. {!!!!} {They do, for the most part, and they are fine, but still...} 

We were not alone.

As we head into this next phase of weirdness, may we hold onto the truth of what miracles are--they are the things that surprise us and give us joy when we need it the most. They are out there, I promise, but if you're having a difficult time seeing them, I will help you because you are not alone.

The Holiday Edition

Happy Holidays from the Laniels!

We hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

During the month of  November, I do a little kindness campaign with my students. I challenge them to do one kind thing a day like make someone laugh, help someone work out a problem, help a stranger, or simply smile. One of the challenges is to listen to each other. Like, really, really listen. I tell them that every generation has needed to learn this skill but in our day and age where we are so easily distracted by our social media accounts or the alerts ringing on our phones, we have to work extra hard to really listen to others. 

After my spiel, one of my students, {who is an incredible human being!} shared with me something he learned that might connect with this idea of listening to each other. He told me that in South Africa in one of the languages called Xhosa, one greets another person by saying "Sawubona"--which is translated to "I see you". The reply is "Ngikhona"--which means "I am here".  When he told me this I realized how very important these words have been to us this year. 

I see you. 

Brian's process of completing his business degree has been a huge transition for our family. He took 20 credit hours at UCD  this semester and he did an amazing job getting everything done and done well. I am so proud of him!

This process has taught him a lot about himself and about how advocating for what you need and being honest with what you are able to do and not do changes everything. He has had to be vulnerable and willing to let his professors see him as a student and he has had to embrace his fellow students for who they are. This has been a unique process. Going back to school in your 40's is a different ballgame than when we are in our 20's. Seeing people in the midst of self-discovery is a trip. Brian has had to slow down and see people in a new way. I wish this could be added to his resume somehow. He's amazing!

And, for the record, his ability to see me for who I am and what I am trying to do this year has been astounding. There isn't another person in this world who sees me as he does. I treasure him for this and for 1,000,000 more reasons that I don't have time to write about here.

For me, the "I see you" has been a struggle. Teaching has been difficult for the last few years. I am going through a "crisis of faith" of sorts around how I am supposed to navigate my teaching career's future. I am feeling weary about how I see my students and the ins and outs of the job itself. I feel like I struggle every day with seeing the good and helping my kids see themselves as good. But when my superstar student told be about Sawubona, I realized I needed to stop spinning and start seeing again. It's why I got into this crazy job. I see students. I see them as viable humans that have so much to give and so much to learn. I want them to see how they fit in this world because they do. I want them to see why they're important. I also want them to see why reading and writing is life, but that might be asking a bit too much. :)

I am in the process of not throwing in the towel, but I'm not out of the woods yet. I am trying to see if who I am and what I do professionally is congruent. If you have any insight into this process, if you know winning lottery numbers, or if you think I would be good at a different job, tell me! I'll send you my resume! {For real.}

I Am Here 
When I start seeing, I become more present; more here. There is a lot of power to be in the here. A lot is missed when we're not. You won't be surprised that the ways we've been in the here have been through Baxter and Waffles. Baxter will be 10 in March and as he continues to age, he has become more and more loyal to us. He gives us hugs, brings us toys, plays with Waffles and is just generally here with us--no matter what. 

We got Waffles in June. He was a tiny kitten when we got him but he is now 13.5 pounds. That's huge! He has adjusted to being a Laniel just fine. He is a daddy's boy to be sure. He can't get enough of Brian. It's super cute. He has a wonderful purr, loud meow and he snores, loudly--just like Brian. 

These silly fur lovies help me so much. 
They help me catch my breath. They help me smile. They help me slow down. They help me feel loved and appreciated. They help me be here.

We hope that as we jump into 2020 we continue to embrace Sawubona and Ngikhona because to be seen and to be present truly is the best gift of all. 

Cheers!

Recognizing the Magic

Our kitchen chalkboard holds the inspiration for our month. August isn't my favorite, for many reasons, but I know that if I look, magic is all around. 
{Written 6 years ago, you can read this or this if you want to deep dive into my disdain for August 

(besides the heat and the end of summer)...}

Magic is the unknown finding its way to a place of recognition and sometimes inspiration. This is both exhilarating and a bit scary. The unknown can be overwhelming but the excitement, that's tangible and electric, is unique to beginnings. If you think about the beginning of anything new, a new job, a new relationship, a new transition like a move or a new home, these feelings take over your senses and this is the magic I am trying to harness.

For me, as I start year 12 of teaching, my goal is to trust the magic of this new school year. The kids, the staff, the rhythm, and all of the craziness holds magic--the overwhelming parts and the exciting parts and I want to embrace it all. 

For Brian, he is transitioning to being a full-time student. He has worked for the same company for 16 years and they are downsizing. Before he searches for a new job he will have the opportunity to finish his finance degree by going to school full time. He will be taking 12 classes over the next school year. YIKES! This will be new for all of us! 

But as these new beginnings unfold we will be reminding each other to recognize and trust the magic that is all around us.

This is your 2018 holiday card! Cheers!

Happy Holidays!

The Laniel family embraced places of Light and Hope this year and we are so grateful for you to share in a few of these through this little holiday card blog post. 

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The Light

To me, Light is the unexplainable miracles that show us that life is bigger than what we see. It is the moments of joy that seem disguised at first. Light is that knowing that we are not alone and that
 life is good. 

Your kids are Light to us. It is becoming redundant, I know, but we sure love all the kids in our lives. Choosing not to have kids does not mean that we don't love kids. We do. Very much! And we are so grateful for the ways that our friends and families invite us into their lives so we can be Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian. We cherish these moments so very much and our lives are richer because of it! 

{New Year's resolution: Get more pictures of all the kids in our lives!}

The CABIN! will always be a place of Light for us. We are grateful for the many memories that get created there year after year. 

We celebrated 10 years of marriage this year--whoop! We didn't do too much outside of eating at a delicious restaurant in our neighborhood, but we did upgrade my wedding band! It's a family "tradition" to upgrade rings on the 10-year marker of marriage...
I'm not going to say no to tradition, right?

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The Hope

To me, Hope is tangible optimism. We look for something good--usually in a difficult situation--and when we experience it, we know it's Hope.

Our family experienced the loss of some very special and important people. Two of my cousins died in June and our family is devasted. Both of them embodied the idea of loyalty and they displayed a sense of generosity that truly can't be captured in words. Because of these incredible souls, I have found myself offering a helping hand where I can and doing it without the pretense of needing something in return. This is how they both lived their lives and it helps me see Hope.

We felt hopeless when we knew we had to say goodbye to our dear family member, Birney. We are truly heartbroken. This loss feels oceanic. We talk about him every day because there are a million little things to be remembered.

We are all trying to live in this "new normal" of life without Birney. We have tried to help Baxter cope by having him see Grandpa and Grandma a bit more--he loves that!

We know that our family will never quite be the same but we also know that Birney will continue to save us--always. We are so grateful for the outpouring of love and support from so many people during this sad time. It has reached the depths of our souls and to us, this is Hope.
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We see Light and Hope in the little things that make us happy. Things like Trader Joe's or sparkly iPhone cases. We see it in those days that we really like our jobs and know we are being our best selves. We see it in our friendships with you and we know that this brings us strength. 

We hope that 2018 had places of Light and Hope you can reflect on and that 2019 is one of your best years yet! Cheers!

#birneysavedmylife

I had to say goodbye to my best friend Birney today.
He has been saving my life for 15 1/2 years, and even though he is no longer here physically, I have a sneaky suspicion he will continue to save me.

Birney saved me because he was a witness to everything.
He was a witness to my most vulnerable moments when I thought of myself as alone.
He witnessed the countless times I cried in frustration, anger or fear, and
he held me in those moments without judgment.
He witnessed all of the good, bad and ugly parts of me, and loved me unconditionally.

He also embraced and loved Brian unconditionally and they had a very special bond. Laying on Brian's lap, any chance he could, was his favorite pastime.
We were a family and we are all so very heartbroken.

I wrote this post about my best friend 7 years ago and it really does capture the best that Birney is to me. 

Below is an excerpt from it: 

 If you haven't met Birney, your life is not quite complete, sorry. 
Even the "non-cat-people" agree that Birney is one cool cat.
 (I mean, he smiles! Come on!)

He came into my life randomly, yet really it was an "ordained by a higher power" sort of way. He was a stray kitten that was brought to me the morning of the funeral for Matt.
 {Read this post for further backstory.} 
This is very tragic, I know...I feel a bit naked writing this, but it's how I got him. He was wandering around Sheridan, WY and a friend of Matt's brought him to me. It was illogical and quite ridiculous to bring a pet into my life when I didn't even know what day it was or how I was 
going to take my next breath. 

But there he was. Ready to love me unconditionally and make my life bearable. He moved with me to Denver and I reinvented my life with Birney in it. 

{This post is another good one to read if you want to know more about
 how Birney came into my life.}

Oh, Birney.
Thank you for saving me.
You are, and always will be, a miracle to me and I will always be thankful that we found each other.

We will love you forever. For the rest of our days and even all of the days after that.