The Miracles That Save Us

 Happy Holidays from the Laniels!

This little blog started with the premise that miracles can be found in the most mundane of spaces in our lives. It’s the little moments that shift our perspective and shape our worldview so we’re kinder, happier, and able to extend grace to those around us. The thing about miracles is that they can’t always be explained. They show up and give us hope when we least expect them. 

The Laniels had miracles show up when we least expect them and we’re so very grateful.

Brian spent half of 2021 unemployed and searching for the right fit for his skill set and a job that would give him joy. The miracle of the perfect job showed up in July. His former company, Marsh, where he worked for 17 years, rehired him into a new position that is challenging and exciting. He’s thriving in learning new things, meeting new people, and working remotely so the kids aren’t lonely. (Brian is EXTREMELY patient with these VERY NEEDY animals…what a saint!)

He turns 50 in May, so hopefully, we’ll celebrate in style! 

Brian's daily view

My miracles have shown up in the form of 11-year-old kids who surprise me every day. Teaching 6th grade was not on the bucket list, but it has turned out to be an incredible experience of embracing all sorts of different learners and super random stories about super random things. These kids have truly saved my life. Starting at a new school, teaching a new grade, figuring out new systems of being a part of a school community and so much more have challenged me in ways that caused me to question everything. But these amazing little miracles have shown me how to slow down, breathe, listen, embrace challenges, and hope. (Here is some background to this!)

This note from a student killed me!

I once again (14th time!)  read the holiday story, “The Lump of Coal” by Lemony Snicket to my students. It is about finding unexpected miracles during this holiday season. It says:

"It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season--like all the other seasons--is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them." 

As I sort through all that this year has brought us and what is yet to come and I am overwhelmingly grateful for all the miracles that have shown up. 

YOU are one of our miracles this year and we are so very grateful.

Cheers to you all! 

Happy Holidays from The Laniels!

 "Lift your heads up. Be grateful you are going through this sad moment with all these other folks."~ Ted Lasso

 {Thank you, Ted Lasso, for being perfect. And, if you haven't already, watch this flawless show on Apple+, right now!} 

Happy Holidays from The Laniels!

There's really nothing new to say about the 2020 dumpster fire that hasn't been said already, but I truly think that we are coming out the other side feeling so grateful for all the miracles in the mundane like never before.

In our holiday card last year I was truly contemplating leaving this crazy teaching profession. I found renewed hope in February and decided to commit. Then came March.

                                                  {I wrote about the end of the last school year here.}                                                            

As summer plodded along, there were so many questions and so many unknowns it was difficult to know how to feel about what the school year would entail.

When questions were answered tripled and my school district adopted a hybrid model for middle school, more questions and more feelings unfolded.  

How was I supposed to teach all day in a mask? How do I connect with my one section of fully remote students? How do I connect with students I only see in person 2 hours a week? How do I maintain rigor/engagement/differentiation for 130 kids that are overwhelmed and worried too? Fully remote? How do I do that? How do I keep forgetting to change the settings on my Google docs so anyone with the link can view them? How come attendance takes 10,987 steps and takes 1,235 minutes? 

Everyday, So. Many. Questions.

Everything takes twice the effort and twice the attention to detail and it's been exhausting--for all of us. This is where the Ted Lasso quote gives me so much hope: We are not alone in this. I get the irony of this word alone. We did not see friends in person or celebrate big birthdays {50!!!} or graduating {whoop Brian!} with parties and we felt alone in feeling anxious all the livelong day, but somehow we were not alone.

I was not alone in the weirdness of teaching. Brian was not alone in being unemployed and searching for jobs. {He has a few prospects right now and all of our fingers and toes are crossed that things will fall into place!!!!} My friends who have small children were not alone in trying to stay sane. My friends working from home with make-shift offices and sketchy wifi were not alone. We know all too well that our pets weren't alone. God forbid we ran an errand without them for more than an hour! My family was not alone in worrying for our aging parents and hoping they would wear a freaking mask. {!!!!} {They do, for the most part, and they are fine, but still...} 

We were not alone.

As we head into this next phase of weirdness, may we hold onto the truth of what miracles are--they are the things that surprise us and give us joy when we need it the most. They are out there, I promise, but if you're having a difficult time seeing them, I will help you because you are not alone.

The Holiday Edition

Happy Holidays from the Laniels!

We hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

During the month of  November, I do a little kindness campaign with my students. I challenge them to do one kind thing a day like make someone laugh, help someone work out a problem, help a stranger, or simply smile. One of the challenges is to listen to each other. Like, really, really listen. I tell them that every generation has needed to learn this skill but in our day and age where we are so easily distracted by our social media accounts or the alerts ringing on our phones, we have to work extra hard to really listen to others. 

After my spiel, one of my students, {who is an incredible human being!} shared with me something he learned that might connect with this idea of listening to each other. He told me that in South Africa in one of the languages called Xhosa, one greets another person by saying "Sawubona"--which is translated to "I see you". The reply is "Ngikhona"--which means "I am here".  When he told me this I realized how very important these words have been to us this year. 

I see you. 

Brian's process of completing his business degree has been a huge transition for our family. He took 20 credit hours at UCD  this semester and he did an amazing job getting everything done and done well. I am so proud of him!

This process has taught him a lot about himself and about how advocating for what you need and being honest with what you are able to do and not do changes everything. He has had to be vulnerable and willing to let his professors see him as a student and he has had to embrace his fellow students for who they are. This has been a unique process. Going back to school in your 40's is a different ballgame than when we are in our 20's. Seeing people in the midst of self-discovery is a trip. Brian has had to slow down and see people in a new way. I wish this could be added to his resume somehow. He's amazing!

And, for the record, his ability to see me for who I am and what I am trying to do this year has been astounding. There isn't another person in this world who sees me as he does. I treasure him for this and for 1,000,000 more reasons that I don't have time to write about here.

For me, the "I see you" has been a struggle. Teaching has been difficult for the last few years. I am going through a "crisis of faith" of sorts around how I am supposed to navigate my teaching career's future. I am feeling weary about how I see my students and the ins and outs of the job itself. I feel like I struggle every day with seeing the good and helping my kids see themselves as good. But when my superstar student told be about Sawubona, I realized I needed to stop spinning and start seeing again. It's why I got into this crazy job. I see students. I see them as viable humans that have so much to give and so much to learn. I want them to see how they fit in this world because they do. I want them to see why they're important. I also want them to see why reading and writing is life, but that might be asking a bit too much. :)

I am in the process of not throwing in the towel, but I'm not out of the woods yet. I am trying to see if who I am and what I do professionally is congruent. If you have any insight into this process, if you know winning lottery numbers, or if you think I would be good at a different job, tell me! I'll send you my resume! {For real.}

I Am Here 
When I start seeing, I become more present; more here. There is a lot of power to be in the here. A lot is missed when we're not. You won't be surprised that the ways we've been in the here have been through Baxter and Waffles. Baxter will be 10 in March and as he continues to age, he has become more and more loyal to us. He gives us hugs, brings us toys, plays with Waffles and is just generally here with us--no matter what. 

We got Waffles in June. He was a tiny kitten when we got him but he is now 13.5 pounds. That's huge! He has adjusted to being a Laniel just fine. He is a daddy's boy to be sure. He can't get enough of Brian. It's super cute. He has a wonderful purr, loud meow and he snores, loudly--just like Brian. 

These silly fur lovies help me so much. 
They help me catch my breath. They help me smile. They help me slow down. They help me feel loved and appreciated. They help me be here.

We hope that as we jump into 2020 we continue to embrace Sawubona and Ngikhona because to be seen and to be present truly is the best gift of all. 

Cheers!

This is your 2018 holiday card! Cheers!

Happy Holidays!

The Laniel family embraced places of Light and Hope this year and we are so grateful for you to share in a few of these through this little holiday card blog post. 

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The Light

To me, Light is the unexplainable miracles that show us that life is bigger than what we see. It is the moments of joy that seem disguised at first. Light is that knowing that we are not alone and that
 life is good. 

Your kids are Light to us. It is becoming redundant, I know, but we sure love all the kids in our lives. Choosing not to have kids does not mean that we don't love kids. We do. Very much! And we are so grateful for the ways that our friends and families invite us into their lives so we can be Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian. We cherish these moments so very much and our lives are richer because of it! 

{New Year's resolution: Get more pictures of all the kids in our lives!}

The CABIN! will always be a place of Light for us. We are grateful for the many memories that get created there year after year. 

We celebrated 10 years of marriage this year--whoop! We didn't do too much outside of eating at a delicious restaurant in our neighborhood, but we did upgrade my wedding band! It's a family "tradition" to upgrade rings on the 10-year marker of marriage...
I'm not going to say no to tradition, right?

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The Hope

To me, Hope is tangible optimism. We look for something good--usually in a difficult situation--and when we experience it, we know it's Hope.

Our family experienced the loss of some very special and important people. Two of my cousins died in June and our family is devasted. Both of them embodied the idea of loyalty and they displayed a sense of generosity that truly can't be captured in words. Because of these incredible souls, I have found myself offering a helping hand where I can and doing it without the pretense of needing something in return. This is how they both lived their lives and it helps me see Hope.

We felt hopeless when we knew we had to say goodbye to our dear family member, Birney. We are truly heartbroken. This loss feels oceanic. We talk about him every day because there are a million little things to be remembered.

We are all trying to live in this "new normal" of life without Birney. We have tried to help Baxter cope by having him see Grandpa and Grandma a bit more--he loves that!

We know that our family will never quite be the same but we also know that Birney will continue to save us--always. We are so grateful for the outpouring of love and support from so many people during this sad time. It has reached the depths of our souls and to us, this is Hope.
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We see Light and Hope in the little things that make us happy. Things like Trader Joe's or sparkly iPhone cases. We see it in those days that we really like our jobs and know we are being our best selves. We see it in our friendships with you and we know that this brings us strength. 

We hope that 2018 had places of Light and Hope you can reflect on and that 2019 is one of your best years yet! Cheers!

A little post about a big part of my heart

Summertime means I get to spend almost every waking minute with this sweet, perfect face. 

Baxter gives me such joy. There is something about how he knows me that is comforting and unmatched. Part of me worries that I love him too much, but then I read this and it all makes sense:

What began as a mutual-services contract between two very different species became something much more like love. None of that makes a lick of sense, but it doesn’t have to. Love rarely touches the reasoning parts of the brain. It touches the dreamy parts, the devoted parts—it touches the parts we sometimes call the heart. For many thousands of years, it’s there that our dogs have lived.

 {Why Dogs and Humans Love Each Other More Than Anyone Else  by Jeffrey Kluger}

Dogs just get it and they most definitely take up that sacred space in our hearts. My life is so much better because of Baxter. He is my stable companion and I don't know what I would do without him. He is my Miracle in the Mundane and he is a big, big part of my heart, forever.

This is our 2017 Holiday card! Cheers!

Happy Holidays From The Laniel Family!

Our year at a glance:

~Winter~

When you're in your mid 40's developing new habits and making new friends isn't easy. 

But we dominated this in 2017.  

Brian went back to school in January to finish his business degree. Being a student again has challenged him in many ways and he has crushed it. I'm super proud of him for putting himself out there and for putting up with my cooking on days that he had a late class.

I have been lucky enough to add regular reading to my life because of a book club I was invited to join. We meet every month and while drinking wine is a big part of our get togethers, we actually read the books and discuss them! These new friends are wonderful and I am so glad that I get to interact with them and their stories.

BTW-here are my top five favorite books we read this year:

1. My Grandmother Told Me to Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Blackman

2. Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult

3. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

4. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

5. Brain on Fire by Susannah Calahan

~Spring~ 

The hightlight of our spring was embracing our Aunt-ness and Uncle-ness with our non-blood relatives. We had  the distinct privilege to attend one of our niece's graduations in Kansas City, MO and one of our nephew's graduations in Sheridan, WY.

We were bursting with pride to be a part of Elly's special day where she was the valedictorian (!!!!!!!!). Her speech was incredible and I may have cried through the entire thing. Elly is incredibly bright, funny, driven and beautiful. She is bound to change the world, she already is!  Spending time with the Puckett family is pure joy for us. I am not able to capture in words the place that the Puckett family has in our lives. To be Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian to their kids and to have the soul connection that we have with Shana and Cory is truly priceless. 

Liam will always, always hold a special place in my life. When I met him he was a one month old premie. He has grown up to be the kindest human I know. He is creative, confident, and opinionated. He's a truly talented writer and I am excited to see where his path leads him. Brian and I started "Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian camp" with the Jones boys where we hosted the boys for a few days during the summer and explored all things Denver. We look forward to continuing this tradition as they both live in Laramie, WY right now. The Jones family just "gets it" and we are so very grateful for them. 

Of course being Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian to these two darlings obviously brings us joy beyond words. Nora and Georgia, you light up my life. :)

^^^ This was taken in January^^^

And this was November!

They grow so fast!

~Summer~

We got to extend our blood relative Aunt-ness and Uncle-ness with the pure joy that is Maddox Stewart von Jacobsen. He's perfect. Our family got to meet him in September and I wrote a whole blog post about it here. 

We are truly lucky to have wonderful nephews in our lives. Brian's brother's kids, Khai and Finn are hilarious and wonderful. We are excited to get to know them more this year!

Teddy, Tucker and Maddox are remarkable humans and I am so lucky to be related to them. The world is a better place because of these boys. 

~Fall~

When thinking about our autumn season, what truly stands out is the unapologetic embrace around the "Routine of Us". I don't know what else to call it or how to fully explain it but it simply boils down to I love our life. 

Our family makes me so happy. Brian is absolutely the most incredible human being I know and I love him with my whole heart. Baxter and Birney bring me so much comfort and joy daily and I am super grateful for them! We get to see both sets of parents on a semi-regular basis and we feel lucky to have them all so close. My parents get to be Grandma and Grandpa to Baxter almost every week. He LOVES them!

We had a great year filled with tons of other memories and treasures-- 

our hearts are truly full. 

Happy Holidays!
May you and yours have a truly wonderful 2018. 

xoox