We're 10!!!!!!!!!

We are celebrating 10 years of marriage today!

TEN YEARS!!!

Our wedding day was perfect; I mean it. There is nothing I would change.

{See for yourself in this post.} 

When reflecting on the 10 years since that magical day, I can truly say that our marriage is pure joy and I absolutely feel like I am in love with my best friend.

We probably say "I love our life" 3 times a week, minimum.

We truly love being with each other every second we can be.

We embrace each other's rough spots and happy places.

We say "please" and "thank you" and mean it.

We work through arguments with respect, patience and the use of our Etch-a-Sketch.

We laugh together, a lot.

We are obsessed with our pets. {Okay, maybe I am the obsessive one...but Brian is the best dad!}

We talk about everything and we don't don't hold any secrets from each other.

We.

Are.

Happy.

I need to steal a poem written by Ulysses the Super Squirrel {AKA Kate DiCamillo in her magical book, Flora and Ulysses--please read this book!} to capture how I feel on this 10- year marker of our life together. I am only changing the title; instead of "Words for Flora", these are my "Words for Brian" because never have the 26 letters of the alphabet been so perfectly organized to capture how I feel about this man.
He's truly my everything.

Words for Flora Brian

Nothing

would be

easier without

you,

because you

are

everything,

all of it--

sprinkles, quarks, giant

donuts, eggs sunny-side-up--

you

are the ever-expanding

Universe

to me.

Happy decade of love, my love!
Growing old with you is my most favorite thing.
xoxo

The Magic of The Etch-A-Sketch

Brian and I can't quite remember what sparked our philosophy of using an Etch-A-Sketch to save our marriage, but whatever it was, we are living proof of its magical powers. We have made it a major part of our relationship and I often give a trusty Etch-A-Sketch, with the directions below, to newly married couples in hopes that this magic saves their marriages too. 

Congratulations! 
You are holding in your hands the secret to a successful, happy marriage!

How to properly use this very powerful item:

Step 1: Have an inevitable stupid* argument. *Stupid is the key to the Etch-a-Sketch working. Determining what a "stupid" fight means may take practice, but you will know it when you yell it.
Step 2: One person will recognize that you are fighting about something legitimately stupid.
Step 3: That person asks the question: "Etch-a-Sketch?"
Step 4: {Step 4 is where the lines may get blurred, but pushing through the blur will be worth it.} The person listening to the question, "Etch-a-Sketch?" is the one who will say "Yes!" or "No!"

If the answers to "Etch-a-Sketch?" is a "Yes!":

1. Retrieve the Etch-a-Sketch from its place of honor in your home.

2. Both people hold the Etch-a-Sketch and raise your hands above your heads.

3. Shake vigorously.

4. The magical power of the Etch-a-Sketch will allow you to start at ground zero; recognize that the fight was stupid and talk rationally* about what's going on. *Rational is ideal, and it might not happen right way, but again, like everything, it will happen with practice.

If the answer to "Etch-a-Sketch?" is a "No!":

The person saying "No!" is usually saying no because there is a deeper issue for them to talk through. At this point, the argument doesn't feel "stupid". What they need to say or what they are figuring out as far as feelings may take a bit more time.  It is recommended that the person asking the question, "Etch-a-Sketch?" stop everything and ANY and EVERY listening skill EVER learned should kick in. Your partner needs to be heard; hear them.

The person who said "No!" is the person who asks if the Etch-a-Sketch should now be used. Both partners should agree and you can reference the "Yes!" directions above for further guidance.

Does it work?

Research* shows that couples who use the Etch-a-Sketch method on a regular basis reduces fight time by 85%. {This data is not to scale.} Further research revealed that the reduction of fighting, especially over "stupid" things, allows the elusive "live happily ever after" become a reality.

In It to Win It!

Today is the first game of the BRONCS! 2015-2016 season. 

I'm pretty psyched.

I listened to my BRONCS! playlist this morning while I cleaned and put stuff

 together for the game. 

Brian went to the store for me to get all of our orange food--

cheetos, cantaloupe, carrots, etc. 

He also got us some new toothbrushes that we needed. 

Poor Brian.
He didn't know that I have a thing about toothbrush colors--and especially

 during BRONCS! season. 

You guys. 

He got me a red toothbrush.
RED!!!!!!!!!

Does he know me at all????

Red=KC Chiefs!  

Red=The Patricheats!

I have NEVER had a red toothbrush in my life.
No joke.

As we were working out the toothbrush debacle {there's a blue one I can use...} he said, 

"Man, this is hard!"

Yes. Marriage can be difficult--especially with a freak like me. 

We laughed really hard about this in the end and I really feel for the guy. 

When we first started dating I warned him that BRONCS! season is full throttle emotions for me and apparently 9 years in, this is still true. The toothbrush faux pas continues to show us that we have a lot to learn about each other and that we are both in this for the win. 

I'm sure glad I can do this life and this BRONCS! season with such a great sport--

toothbrush issues and all. 

Now, GO BRONCS!!!!!!!!!!

Our Picture Perfect Wedding

Happy wedding anniversary to us! 

We got married in Crested Butte, CO and it was freaking beautiful.
I mean, REALLY beautiful!

I absolutely subscribe to the philosophy that the wedding day is just a day--

 the marriage is what counts.

But dear lord.

 Our wedding day was perfect.

Here are a handful of pictures to prove it.

Our wedding party entering. Brian's best friend, Cecilia was the "Best Woman" and his brother stood up on his side. My brothers, Jeff and Nathan, stood up with me as the Brides-men. :) All the men wore kilts as Brian has about 14 drops of Scottish blood, and lots of Scottish/Irish spirit.

Because it had snowed (!!!) the morning of our wedding, we didn't really practice how the ceremony would go. As a result, I didn't know that my shoes would sink in to the grass and because it was easier, I would walk down the aisle in bare feet...

As you can see, though, I kept my sense of humor about it. 

Crested Butte=Breathtaking.

These are always my favorite shots at weddings.

This is no exception.

Love. 

My brothers lovin' on their girl.

The wedding party jumping for joy.

{This is a little too much, I know...}

My nephews looking adorable.

All my girls.

 I had them wear red or have a flair of red as a way of being in the wedding party.

They helped me get ready, they helped me feel calm, they were with me, and still are.

The centerpieces were a gift from some of the women in the above picture. What they created was a total surprise for me and I burst into tears when I saw this. It was perfect.

We gave out little lip balms that read "Kari and Brian Lovin' Life Lovin' You"

I know. Adorbs.

Our reception was

So. Much. Fun!

The toasts were perfect, the music was perfect and our dinner buffet was perfectly delicious.

 {Mostly because of these two words: Elk Medallions.}

Our first dance was to Ingrid Michelson's "The Way I Am"

We cried.

Cheers to an amazing wedding day

and yes, to an amazing marriage too.

You're Welcome

This little nugget of advice, which hangs on our fridge, was given to us by my parents
who have been married for 46 years.
It saves our marriage every day.

For any relationship, this one hits the mark--so take it and run.

You're welcome :)

We're like peanut butter and jelly...most of the time...

Hey! Guess what!?

Marriage is HARD!!!!!

{I mean, you knew that already, but I thought I would just write it out anyway...}

Sometimes I get things like this on our shopping list:

Seriously, how freaking cute is THAT?
Brian-Peanut Butter

Kari-Jelly

I know!

These types of things make me feel all warm in fuzzy inside.

But then there are some days when I feel like this:

Or something there abouts....

{Please refer to my friend Hannah's blog post about the root of such matters...!! }

The shopping list moments remind me that we really are like peanut butter and jelly--
we go great together!

 Our wedding vows even talked about this:

"Like Santa and Mrs. Claus--we go great together."

{Yes, this is a real excerpt from our vows... :)}

 I know that when we *fight* {ugh! what an ugly word!} we benefit from it--in the long run.

We eventually communicate about what really matters and some of those
 "core issues" are revealed and cared for.

 Thank God.

Ultimately I know that I love my husband with EVERYTHING that I have

and ALL that I am.

  I would be utterly lost without him.

And even when we don't see eye to eye;

 and as we build bridges between personality traits that separate us,

we truly go great together...

even better than peanut butter and jelly.

A little love note...

                                                                                                                              

Dear Brian,                                                                                                                February 14, 2012

There are so many things I am grateful for in who you are and who we are together. You give me a sense of security, love, and joy that is unmatched. You love and honor me in a way that isn't just words. It's deeper than that, truer than that. Your love for me gives me hope and assures me that there is purpose in this crazy life.

It's funny how life twists and turns and shows us ways to be.  I am so very grateful that our journey came together and we can celebrate true, real, limitless love on this day of love. I can't imagine my life without you. Thank you for loving me fully and completely.

I keep going back to our wedding and the words we shared that day. From "Here Comes the Sun" to "The Way I Am"...our vows and the readings...but really, it's e.e. cummings who nailed it for us. He gets that our hearts are truly connected and that we are one.

i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

                                                                         --e.e. cummings

I love you, my heart, my true. Forever and always,

Kari

xoxo

Today is May 24th!!!!!!!

I found my journal entry from May 24, 2008, Brian and I’s wedding day. Journals are vulnerable and awkward. I get that. In addition to some of the awkwardness of sharing my journal, I need to share some of my story for the context of this blog post.

In 2003 I met and married a wonderful person named Matt. After 55 days of marriage, Matt was killed in a car accident. We were living in California at the time. I decided to move to downtown Denver in January of 2004 and I feel like I reinvented my life. I met amazing people, and savored those already in my life, who helped heal my wounded heart and helped me know how to be myself; my new self.

In 2006 I met Brian. We met in the most unlikely of places…the Bar Bar!..a shady little hole in the wall in Five Points. If you want to truly believe in Fate, ask me more about this night… Basically, Brian and I were meant to meet then and there, and now, here we are. :)

So, today is our 3 year anniversary. We got married in Crested Butte and it was breathtaking. When I found my journal entry from our wedding day, I realized what an amazing journey my heart has taken. I decided to type it out here (I have other gifts besides my handwriting!) and share. I think I am sharing because we all have our own stories and we have gotten to where we are through many different types of experiences. Our hearts are resilient and reflecting on this journal entry reminds me of this.

I am getting married TODAY. I am writing in the dark, 3:30ish looking out on Mt. Crested Butte. I am committing my life to Brian today. Marriage is what I’ve always wanted and here we are. 2 years ago I realized that I wanted to love again—2 years ago I was fragile and unsure of my life—but here I am.I know I am marrying someone who loves me. Not that this wasn’t true 5 years ago but there is something about Brian that is undeniably perfect and wonderful. I guess this idea of one soul mate isn’t for me. I found that Matt and I were connected in a serious way…but so are Brian and I. Of course it’s different...of course. But this different is good.

What I say in our vows about him being my best friend—I can’t stress what that means to me. I guess every word in our vows is important. I’m doing the ring vows—with all that I am and all that I have I honor you—This is a whole new commitment to Brian. I’m switching my commitment today. Brian is who I honor and pledge my love to. No one else. No one. I love deeply –I think this is emotional because I loved Matt, deeply.

But here I am today—loving Brian deeply and here is Brian loving me deeply. I am so sure of this. I’m excited to be committing to a life together with Brian and Brian alone, no one else.
I knew I would love again and here I am. Sure of Brian, loving again. It was a season of winter—long, cold, lonely—for Brian too…this season of not being truly loved. For me, grief--losing love and not sure of gaining it again was my winter…the slippery streets of winter…but here comes the sun…Brian and I to each other’s life and seeing the sun.

Wow!!!!
TODAY IS MAY 24!!!!!!!!!!!

So. There it is. What my heart was doing on May 24th 2008. It was a perfect day. It was an emotional day. And it was a day where the sun came out and began lighting our path. It was a true miracle in the mundane.