The Miracles That Save Us

 Happy Holidays from the Laniels!

This little blog started with the premise that miracles can be found in the most mundane of spaces in our lives. It’s the little moments that shift our perspective and shape our worldview so we’re kinder, happier, and able to extend grace to those around us. The thing about miracles is that they can’t always be explained. They show up and give us hope when we least expect them. 

The Laniels had miracles show up when we least expect them and we’re so very grateful.

Brian spent half of 2021 unemployed and searching for the right fit for his skill set and a job that would give him joy. The miracle of the perfect job showed up in July. His former company, Marsh, where he worked for 17 years, rehired him into a new position that is challenging and exciting. He’s thriving in learning new things, meeting new people, and working remotely so the kids aren’t lonely. (Brian is EXTREMELY patient with these VERY NEEDY animals…what a saint!)

He turns 50 in May, so hopefully, we’ll celebrate in style! 

Brian's daily view

My miracles have shown up in the form of 11-year-old kids who surprise me every day. Teaching 6th grade was not on the bucket list, but it has turned out to be an incredible experience of embracing all sorts of different learners and super random stories about super random things. These kids have truly saved my life. Starting at a new school, teaching a new grade, figuring out new systems of being a part of a school community and so much more have challenged me in ways that caused me to question everything. But these amazing little miracles have shown me how to slow down, breathe, listen, embrace challenges, and hope. (Here is some background to this!)

This note from a student killed me!

I once again (14th time!)  read the holiday story, “The Lump of Coal” by Lemony Snicket to my students. It is about finding unexpected miracles during this holiday season. It says:

"It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season--like all the other seasons--is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them." 

As I sort through all that this year has brought us and what is yet to come and I am overwhelmingly grateful for all the miracles that have shown up. 

YOU are one of our miracles this year and we are so very grateful.

Cheers to you all! 

Happy Holidays from The Laniels!

 "Lift your heads up. Be grateful you are going through this sad moment with all these other folks."~ Ted Lasso

 {Thank you, Ted Lasso, for being perfect. And, if you haven't already, watch this flawless show on Apple+, right now!} 

Happy Holidays from The Laniels!

There's really nothing new to say about the 2020 dumpster fire that hasn't been said already, but I truly think that we are coming out the other side feeling so grateful for all the miracles in the mundane like never before.

In our holiday card last year I was truly contemplating leaving this crazy teaching profession. I found renewed hope in February and decided to commit. Then came March.

                                                  {I wrote about the end of the last school year here.}                                                            

As summer plodded along, there were so many questions and so many unknowns it was difficult to know how to feel about what the school year would entail.

When questions were answered tripled and my school district adopted a hybrid model for middle school, more questions and more feelings unfolded.  

How was I supposed to teach all day in a mask? How do I connect with my one section of fully remote students? How do I connect with students I only see in person 2 hours a week? How do I maintain rigor/engagement/differentiation for 130 kids that are overwhelmed and worried too? Fully remote? How do I do that? How do I keep forgetting to change the settings on my Google docs so anyone with the link can view them? How come attendance takes 10,987 steps and takes 1,235 minutes? 

Everyday, So. Many. Questions.

Everything takes twice the effort and twice the attention to detail and it's been exhausting--for all of us. This is where the Ted Lasso quote gives me so much hope: We are not alone in this. I get the irony of this word alone. We did not see friends in person or celebrate big birthdays {50!!!} or graduating {whoop Brian!} with parties and we felt alone in feeling anxious all the livelong day, but somehow we were not alone.

I was not alone in the weirdness of teaching. Brian was not alone in being unemployed and searching for jobs. {He has a few prospects right now and all of our fingers and toes are crossed that things will fall into place!!!!} My friends who have small children were not alone in trying to stay sane. My friends working from home with make-shift offices and sketchy wifi were not alone. We know all too well that our pets weren't alone. God forbid we ran an errand without them for more than an hour! My family was not alone in worrying for our aging parents and hoping they would wear a freaking mask. {!!!!} {They do, for the most part, and they are fine, but still...} 

We were not alone.

As we head into this next phase of weirdness, may we hold onto the truth of what miracles are--they are the things that surprise us and give us joy when we need it the most. They are out there, I promise, but if you're having a difficult time seeing them, I will help you because you are not alone.

WAFFLES!

We got a kitten.
Like a kitten, kitten.

 Like a little, baby kitten...  

I am a cat person, I've adopted cats before, but I have never had a kitten this little.

 He is so tiny! 

  Getting another cat did not come without a slew of emotions. Losing our Birney hit our family hard. I wasn't sure if my heart had space or the ability to love another cat. But as the year progressed and I talked about summer plans, getting a kitten felt more and more like the right thing to do. And then when I mentioned this in one of my classes, one of my students told me that her friend's cat just had kittens. She showed me a picture of them and I knew it was time, even though I was still unsure of how to give my heart to this new kitten.

 All of these emotions came to a head when I brought the kitten to his first vet visit. When I saw our vet I burst into tears and so did she. {She had known Birney for 10+ years!} Our vet was instrumental in helping us know what was best for Birney and she was an integral part of my grief process. She assured me that feeling this range of emotions was normal.  She told me about her "heart dog" who passed away and the difficulty she had bonding with her new dog. Birney was my "heart cat" but she encouraged me that while it might take time to fully bond with him, that this little nugget needs our love and we have it to give.

This is our"Birney bloom".  Some friends gave us this plant after Birney died and, of course, the Birney bloom showed up the day we got Waffles. 

Helping Baxter be a big brother has been another layer of emotion. I googled, read books and even prayed a little to figure out how to do this introduction well. 


But when you have a dog you call "The Sheriff", because he is so protective of us, it is bound to be a bit complicated. Baxter is always aware of what is happening around him and he is always vocal about it. The first introduction to the kitten put Baxter past a 10 and it was so, so hard!

Poor buddy. He's not aggressive,  just full-on {LOUD!} worried barking. UGH!

To top it off, Brian had to go out of town for the week. I lasted 30 minutes without him and called my parents in complete meltdown mode. Luckily they were here within an hour and Baxter is spending the week on a mini-vacation with grandma and grandpa. 

 I am clinging to the fact that everything is in process. My friend, Shana, sent me this text and it has been a lifeline for me: "Baxter will get it...it all just feels so new right now...for him and you! Trust yourself...your heart and gut know what is "just the thing" for this moment." I know that when Brian gets back we will start the introduction process again, but with a better plan and more consistency. 
I know we can do this!

Choosing the name Waffles was layered as well. I had a list of many, many names but kept coming back to Waffles. I first heard it as an option when a friend at work told us about the shenanigans his neighbor's cat, Waffles, got into. I loved Waffle's stories and I thought that his name was so cute. My coworkers and I also decided to use his formal name every now and again which is Lord von Waffles, Duke of Waffleton. I think he is deserving of the title:)

Another layer to the name--is kinda silly--but Brian and I have been, what some might call, connoisseurs of the waffle throughout our entire relationship. We own the best waffle iron you can buy and we are always on the hunt for the perfect waffle recipe. We try them in restaurants and we have strong opinions about what makes the best waffle. 

The last nod to waffles goes to my TV hero, Leslie Knope from the TV show Parks and Rec. If you are not familiar, do yourself a favor and binge-watch this show and you will agree that waffles are flawless.{For about a day we were thinking of naming the kitten Lil' Sebastian...maybe that will be his middle name.} 

For my Instagram posts, I chose the hashtag #wafflesmakesyousmile because I think that is so true. I also think it fits the part of my heart that needs to smile again and this sweet {smiling!} face is just the ticket.

Sweet baby Waffles, we love you! You will soon rule the roost and you will know how good it is to be in the Laniel family. I will continue to take hundreds of pictures of you and you will always have treats.

And, I think if your dad got this on his trip for us, we're gonna be okay. 

#birneysavedmylife

I had to say goodbye to my best friend Birney today.
He has been saving my life for 15 1/2 years, and even though he is no longer here physically, I have a sneaky suspicion he will continue to save me.

Birney saved me because he was a witness to everything.
He was a witness to my most vulnerable moments when I thought of myself as alone.
He witnessed the countless times I cried in frustration, anger or fear, and
he held me in those moments without judgment.
He witnessed all of the good, bad and ugly parts of me, and loved me unconditionally.

He also embraced and loved Brian unconditionally and they had a very special bond. Laying on Brian's lap, any chance he could, was his favorite pastime.
We were a family and we are all so very heartbroken.

I wrote this post about my best friend 7 years ago and it really does capture the best that Birney is to me. 

Below is an excerpt from it: 

 If you haven't met Birney, your life is not quite complete, sorry. 
Even the "non-cat-people" agree that Birney is one cool cat.
 (I mean, he smiles! Come on!)

He came into my life randomly, yet really it was an "ordained by a higher power" sort of way. He was a stray kitten that was brought to me the morning of the funeral for Matt.
 {Read this post for further backstory.} 
This is very tragic, I know...I feel a bit naked writing this, but it's how I got him. He was wandering around Sheridan, WY and a friend of Matt's brought him to me. It was illogical and quite ridiculous to bring a pet into my life when I didn't even know what day it was or how I was 
going to take my next breath. 

But there he was. Ready to love me unconditionally and make my life bearable. He moved with me to Denver and I reinvented my life with Birney in it. 

{This post is another good one to read if you want to know more about
 how Birney came into my life.}

Oh, Birney.
Thank you for saving me.
You are, and always will be, a miracle to me and I will always be thankful that we found each other.

We will love you forever. For the rest of our days and even all of the days after that.

This is our 2017 Holiday card! Cheers!

Happy Holidays From The Laniel Family!

Our year at a glance:

~Winter~

When you're in your mid 40's developing new habits and making new friends isn't easy. 

But we dominated this in 2017.  

Brian went back to school in January to finish his business degree. Being a student again has challenged him in many ways and he has crushed it. I'm super proud of him for putting himself out there and for putting up with my cooking on days that he had a late class.

I have been lucky enough to add regular reading to my life because of a book club I was invited to join. We meet every month and while drinking wine is a big part of our get togethers, we actually read the books and discuss them! These new friends are wonderful and I am so glad that I get to interact with them and their stories.

BTW-here are my top five favorite books we read this year:

1. My Grandmother Told Me to Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Blackman

2. Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult

3. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

4. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

5. Brain on Fire by Susannah Calahan

~Spring~ 

The hightlight of our spring was embracing our Aunt-ness and Uncle-ness with our non-blood relatives. We had  the distinct privilege to attend one of our niece's graduations in Kansas City, MO and one of our nephew's graduations in Sheridan, WY.

We were bursting with pride to be a part of Elly's special day where she was the valedictorian (!!!!!!!!). Her speech was incredible and I may have cried through the entire thing. Elly is incredibly bright, funny, driven and beautiful. She is bound to change the world, she already is!  Spending time with the Puckett family is pure joy for us. I am not able to capture in words the place that the Puckett family has in our lives. To be Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian to their kids and to have the soul connection that we have with Shana and Cory is truly priceless. 

Liam will always, always hold a special place in my life. When I met him he was a one month old premie. He has grown up to be the kindest human I know. He is creative, confident, and opinionated. He's a truly talented writer and I am excited to see where his path leads him. Brian and I started "Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian camp" with the Jones boys where we hosted the boys for a few days during the summer and explored all things Denver. We look forward to continuing this tradition as they both live in Laramie, WY right now. The Jones family just "gets it" and we are so very grateful for them. 

Of course being Aunt Kari and Uncle Brian to these two darlings obviously brings us joy beyond words. Nora and Georgia, you light up my life. :)

^^^ This was taken in January^^^

And this was November!

They grow so fast!

~Summer~

We got to extend our blood relative Aunt-ness and Uncle-ness with the pure joy that is Maddox Stewart von Jacobsen. He's perfect. Our family got to meet him in September and I wrote a whole blog post about it here. 

We are truly lucky to have wonderful nephews in our lives. Brian's brother's kids, Khai and Finn are hilarious and wonderful. We are excited to get to know them more this year!

Teddy, Tucker and Maddox are remarkable humans and I am so lucky to be related to them. The world is a better place because of these boys. 

~Fall~

When thinking about our autumn season, what truly stands out is the unapologetic embrace around the "Routine of Us". I don't know what else to call it or how to fully explain it but it simply boils down to I love our life. 

Our family makes me so happy. Brian is absolutely the most incredible human being I know and I love him with my whole heart. Baxter and Birney bring me so much comfort and joy daily and I am super grateful for them! We get to see both sets of parents on a semi-regular basis and we feel lucky to have them all so close. My parents get to be Grandma and Grandpa to Baxter almost every week. He LOVES them!

We had a great year filled with tons of other memories and treasures-- 

our hearts are truly full. 

Happy Holidays!
May you and yours have a truly wonderful 2018. 

xoox