Exhausted but happy.

My friend Allison often has Facebook statuses that say

"tired but happy". 

I am stealing this from her but increasing the tired to exhausted.

I have been on a journey, since January, of owning and exploring a shift I felt in seeking a new direction for this crazy career in teaching.
I'm not going to share every bitter detail of this process here, though you could probably see some of it in my blog posts since January, but know that I have  been learning
many, many life changing lessons.
I have learned that I need to be true to myself.
I have learned to trust my gut--like the deep, deep scary to trust part of my gut.
I have learned that in doing this I create a filter of sorts that helps me hear and Trust what is Right.
I have learned that filling out applications reveals confidence in who I am and what I am good at
but they are tedious and exhausting.
I have learned that interviews are not for the meek. They are indimidating and overwhelming.
I have learned that my tendency to give into panic attacks can be calmed by a  simple
"Don't Panic"
directive from a best friend.

I have learned that processing all that is happening is necessary and important.
I have learned that I am not alone.
I have learned that gin and tonics are delicious!
{Okay, so learned is sort of a strong word for this one...}
I have learned that I am not done with teaching.
I am learning that I am on this journey for a reason and as I am saying  "goodbye!" to one school
{AWCPA and APS}
 and "hello!" to another,
{Deer Creek Middle School in Jeffco}
this profession has a lot in store for me.
I have learned there is a lot to learn in this sort of deep, real, core processing and
 I will continue to learn so much more.
So yes, I am exhausted.
This process has tested me.
But.
I can also say that this process has made me happy.
Like the kind of happy that is real and true.
And I can't wait for what's next.